According to my alma mater, Virginia Tech, “Business etiquette refers to the requirements and expectations of social and business behavior, practices and conduct that are prescribed by social convention” (source).
Often, business etiquette is common sense and not something that needs to be taught… but, of course, there are outlier scenarios.
It’s been happening more frequently where I need to find the right way to explain business etiquette expectations to individuals, and I have learned that doing so can be tricky. One reason is that the situations vary wildly. You never know when you’ll be put on the spot to explain to someone why they should not wear a stained t-shirt to a client meeting, or why they must show up to meetings when they are invited to them.
In these situations, it is important to remember that the culture is changing, and most of us are not the governing body for deciding what is or is not appropriate. However, as a leader, understanding how to explain and enforce a certain culture of business etiquette is necessary for your organization’s success.
You want your other employees to feel comfortable and be treated with respect, so even though enforcing business etiquette can be awkward, you can minimize your discomfort by trying the steps below:
Step 1: Ask Yourself if You’re Being Controlling or if You’re Providing Advice to Help the Team
When I was returning to the office after the pandemic, I asked my team lead about what we should wear to a high-profile client meeting. Before they could answer, someone else said they would not be wearing anything besides sweatpants.
This situation was not about control. When you are meeting with a client and trying to execute a deal, you need to play by their rules. Although the client should care more about what we say and less about how we look, that was not a chance I was willing to take. Not looking the part could tank the deal, and therefore it was fine to provide this guidance on etiquette to the team.
When you provide strict guidance on business etiquette, it is important to have a strong rationale, so people understand and can buy into the concept.
Step 2: Have an Open Discussion
Different generations each have a unique culture that helps our workplace evolve; but to evolve, we need to learn from each other, and this starts with open discussions.
An open discussion is one where there is no judgement, and you are willing to learn from the other parties involved. This is an opportunity to dive deep into the rationale for a certain type of etiquette, and think through if it makes sense in the modern workplace.
I always like to attend events held by employee resource groups, especially ones where I am an ally instead of just a member of that population (e.g. attending an LGBTQ+ event). It is important to understand what types of outdated etiquette is not inclusive of a modern workforce. These events create space for holding open conversations, and I walk away with new knowledge on how to adapt my etiquette to be a more inclusive colleague.
Step 3: Be Prepared to Evolve Constantly
There is no finite timeframe for how often business etiquette will shift, so it is important to keep our pulse on the times and adapt accordingly. One thing that has changed drastically in the past 10 years is the way we communicate with each other.
In college, we learned how to write a professional email. The emails were long, formal and filled with words pulled from a thesaurus. Fast-forward to today where people will use Slack, Signal and Teams to quickly send updates to each other. These messages are short, with simple language and no fluff.
Who could have imagined things would change so quickly? People used to have conversations on what number of exclamation marks made something unprofessional, but now it’s common practice to respond with GIFs and memes instead of any words.
If we want to move forward in our careers and stay competitive, we need to adapt to the current expectations for business etiquette. Being a part of the conversation is important, and we need to communicate at the pace, and with the style, of the organization.
It would be nice if business etiquette was common sense to everyone, but, unfortunately, we will all be in a handful of situations where we need to find the right way to explain why a social norm must be followed.
To minimize the discomfort, focus on situations where you are trying to help the team instead of fighting for control. Be willing to have open discussions, because you might learn that the etiquette you’ve been following is not inclusive to all colleagues. Finally, be ready to adapt because business etiquette will keep evolving.
